Friday, February 20, 2004
Lovely parting gifts
In my recent guest stint as writer of Last Days (filling in for the uber-amazing David Schmader, who masterfully creates the column every week for The Stranger) I mentioned a hilarious elevator encounter with Bob Barker, host of the perennial TV favorite "The Price is Right."
Incredibly, I received a number of emails requesting the full story behind my run-in with Mr. Barker. It's really the kind of story that is best performed rather than described (and I should have an honorary Oscar by now for the number of times I've acted it out) but now, FOR THE VERY FIRST TIME IN SOME FORM OF PRINT!!!, here it is.
After seeing a doctor at the UCLA medical center, I took an elevator down to where my car was parked. The first thing I noticed upon entering the elevator was blood on the floor. It totally freaked me out yet I couldn't tear my eyes away, not even to look at the other man in the elevator for acknowledgement of the grossness.
The elevator stopped at the first level of the parking structure. The man and I both stepped out… and we both stopped, standing in the elevator lobby, looking through the windows at the rows of cars parked beyond. Apparently this guy was in the same predicament I was, unable to remember where the car was parked. I looked at the man and suddenly recognized him as Bob Barker.
"I'm not sure if this is my floor…" Bob said to me, perhaps feeling it was okay to confide in me as I was clearly stuck in the same boat. "Same here," I replied. I finally made a decision and jumped back into the elevator just as the doors were closing, leaving Bob behind. I took it down one level, saw my car and walked to a payphone just outside the elevator lobby.
As I was dialing, Mr. Barker emerged from the elevator. He saw his car, then me, and said, "I guess I picked the wrong floor." To which I replied, "Wah, wah, wah-wah," in the style of a Price is Right 'losers' sound effect. How my brain managed to react that way, that fast, is still astonishing to me.
Mr. Barker was also a bit taken aback by my unusual response, until I added, "Someone should've told us to come on down." And with that he let out a HUGE laugh, slapped me on the back and laughed all the way to his maroon town car.
The end.
Incredibly, I received a number of emails requesting the full story behind my run-in with Mr. Barker. It's really the kind of story that is best performed rather than described (and I should have an honorary Oscar by now for the number of times I've acted it out) but now, FOR THE VERY FIRST TIME IN SOME FORM OF PRINT!!!, here it is.
After seeing a doctor at the UCLA medical center, I took an elevator down to where my car was parked. The first thing I noticed upon entering the elevator was blood on the floor. It totally freaked me out yet I couldn't tear my eyes away, not even to look at the other man in the elevator for acknowledgement of the grossness.
The elevator stopped at the first level of the parking structure. The man and I both stepped out… and we both stopped, standing in the elevator lobby, looking through the windows at the rows of cars parked beyond. Apparently this guy was in the same predicament I was, unable to remember where the car was parked. I looked at the man and suddenly recognized him as Bob Barker.
"I'm not sure if this is my floor…" Bob said to me, perhaps feeling it was okay to confide in me as I was clearly stuck in the same boat. "Same here," I replied. I finally made a decision and jumped back into the elevator just as the doors were closing, leaving Bob behind. I took it down one level, saw my car and walked to a payphone just outside the elevator lobby.
As I was dialing, Mr. Barker emerged from the elevator. He saw his car, then me, and said, "I guess I picked the wrong floor." To which I replied, "Wah, wah, wah-wah," in the style of a Price is Right 'losers' sound effect. How my brain managed to react that way, that fast, is still astonishing to me.
Mr. Barker was also a bit taken aback by my unusual response, until I added, "Someone should've told us to come on down." And with that he let out a HUGE laugh, slapped me on the back and laughed all the way to his maroon town car.
The end.
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