Friday, February 20, 2004
Lovely parting gifts
In my recent guest stint as writer of Last Days (filling in for the uber-amazing David Schmader, who masterfully creates the column every week for The Stranger) I mentioned a hilarious elevator encounter with Bob Barker, host of the perennial TV favorite "The Price is Right."
Incredibly, I received a number of emails requesting the full story behind my run-in with Mr. Barker. It's really the kind of story that is best performed rather than described (and I should have an honorary Oscar by now for the number of times I've acted it out) but now, FOR THE VERY FIRST TIME IN SOME FORM OF PRINT!!!, here it is.
After seeing a doctor at the UCLA medical center, I took an elevator down to where my car was parked. The first thing I noticed upon entering the elevator was blood on the floor. It totally freaked me out yet I couldn't tear my eyes away, not even to look at the other man in the elevator for acknowledgement of the grossness.
The elevator stopped at the first level of the parking structure. The man and I both stepped out… and we both stopped, standing in the elevator lobby, looking through the windows at the rows of cars parked beyond. Apparently this guy was in the same predicament I was, unable to remember where the car was parked. I looked at the man and suddenly recognized him as Bob Barker.
"I'm not sure if this is my floor…" Bob said to me, perhaps feeling it was okay to confide in me as I was clearly stuck in the same boat. "Same here," I replied. I finally made a decision and jumped back into the elevator just as the doors were closing, leaving Bob behind. I took it down one level, saw my car and walked to a payphone just outside the elevator lobby.
As I was dialing, Mr. Barker emerged from the elevator. He saw his car, then me, and said, "I guess I picked the wrong floor." To which I replied, "Wah, wah, wah-wah," in the style of a Price is Right 'losers' sound effect. How my brain managed to react that way, that fast, is still astonishing to me.
Mr. Barker was also a bit taken aback by my unusual response, until I added, "Someone should've told us to come on down." And with that he let out a HUGE laugh, slapped me on the back and laughed all the way to his maroon town car.
The end.
Incredibly, I received a number of emails requesting the full story behind my run-in with Mr. Barker. It's really the kind of story that is best performed rather than described (and I should have an honorary Oscar by now for the number of times I've acted it out) but now, FOR THE VERY FIRST TIME IN SOME FORM OF PRINT!!!, here it is.
After seeing a doctor at the UCLA medical center, I took an elevator down to where my car was parked. The first thing I noticed upon entering the elevator was blood on the floor. It totally freaked me out yet I couldn't tear my eyes away, not even to look at the other man in the elevator for acknowledgement of the grossness.
The elevator stopped at the first level of the parking structure. The man and I both stepped out… and we both stopped, standing in the elevator lobby, looking through the windows at the rows of cars parked beyond. Apparently this guy was in the same predicament I was, unable to remember where the car was parked. I looked at the man and suddenly recognized him as Bob Barker.
"I'm not sure if this is my floor…" Bob said to me, perhaps feeling it was okay to confide in me as I was clearly stuck in the same boat. "Same here," I replied. I finally made a decision and jumped back into the elevator just as the doors were closing, leaving Bob behind. I took it down one level, saw my car and walked to a payphone just outside the elevator lobby.
As I was dialing, Mr. Barker emerged from the elevator. He saw his car, then me, and said, "I guess I picked the wrong floor." To which I replied, "Wah, wah, wah-wah," in the style of a Price is Right 'losers' sound effect. How my brain managed to react that way, that fast, is still astonishing to me.
Mr. Barker was also a bit taken aback by my unusual response, until I added, "Someone should've told us to come on down." And with that he let out a HUGE laugh, slapped me on the back and laughed all the way to his maroon town car.
The end.
Tuesday, February 17, 2004
Wedding Bells By the Bay
The more I keep following the news of what is going on in San Francisco, the more I want to jump on a plane and be there. It just seems like such a pivotal moment in history. It also looks like a lot of fun, even with the rain and party-pooper protestors.
And voila! Ten minutes ago, Abraham called to say that the call has been put out for any available ordained ministers to help perform ceremonies. "They're desperate!" said Abe. No wonder he thought to call me.
I got ordained through the Universal Life Church last year to perform the wedding ceremony for my friends Brad & Lisa, and am still a card-carrying member of the ministry. I think I might try and go up this weekend and put my ministerial powers to work. Colonel Keith Bacon to the rescue!
(I paid an extra 10 bucks for the honorary title of Colonel. I figured it was my one chance to have a military title, just like the rest of my family.)
"link to some great pix on SFgate.com"
And voila! Ten minutes ago, Abraham called to say that the call has been put out for any available ordained ministers to help perform ceremonies. "They're desperate!" said Abe. No wonder he thought to call me.
I got ordained through the Universal Life Church last year to perform the wedding ceremony for my friends Brad & Lisa, and am still a card-carrying member of the ministry. I think I might try and go up this weekend and put my ministerial powers to work. Colonel Keith Bacon to the rescue!
(I paid an extra 10 bucks for the honorary title of Colonel. I figured it was my one chance to have a military title, just like the rest of my family.)
"link to some great pix on SFgate.com"
Monday, February 16, 2004
Best thing I bought last week.
Join the Dots, a four-disc set of b-sides and rarities from The Cure, with liner notes including many insights and observations from Robert Smith.
Soooooo good! In addition to the music (many tracks of which I loved when released on the cassette - yes, cassette! -- version of Standing on the Beach) the liner notes are very detailed and interesting. The things that are remembered and revealed about these obscure tracks are pretty amazing, especially when The Cure's well-known penchant for hard partying is taken into account. I can barely remember my freshman year of college, though I doubt I have come close to ever living the lifestyle of an actual rock star.
I also bought the soundtrack to "Beyond the Valley of the Dolls" last week, but haven't even opened it yet.
-k
Soooooo good! In addition to the music (many tracks of which I loved when released on the cassette - yes, cassette! -- version of Standing on the Beach) the liner notes are very detailed and interesting. The things that are remembered and revealed about these obscure tracks are pretty amazing, especially when The Cure's well-known penchant for hard partying is taken into account. I can barely remember my freshman year of college, though I doubt I have come close to ever living the lifestyle of an actual rock star.
I also bought the soundtrack to "Beyond the Valley of the Dolls" last week, but haven't even opened it yet.
-k
Tuesday, February 10, 2004
NYC sightings
Last weekend wasn't the first time I'd ever flown across the country just to see a performance, but it was the first time I'd done it to see a show that was closing due to low ticket sales and poor reviews.
The show was "Taboo," a Broadway musical set in the 80's London club scene that tells the mostly-true stories of several prominent figures from that time and place, including Leigh Bowery, Phillip Sallon and Boy George.
Originally the plan was to see the final performance on Sunday night, but we ended up getting amazing seats minutes before the Saturday night show. The US version of the show received mostly bad reviews (the UK version ran for two years) but I found it quite entertaining. There were some good songs, nice performances, it told some very interesting stories and had the most amazing costumes. Really glad I made the effort to see it before it closed.
Criticisms would include a second act that started out feeling clichéd (but got a lot better) and a few weak spots talent-wise, though one of the actors I thought was awful in the first act turned it around after the intermission. The guy who played Boy George was by far the best, while Boy George himself (playing Leigh Bowery) was a bit flat in areas.
The next day we caught another show on its closing weekend, this one an exhibit at the Met entitled Bravehearts: Men in Skirts. It included authentic historical examples and modern re-interpretations from all sorts of big-name designers. There were quite a few outfits that were actually worn, designed and/or donated by several of the characters from "Taboo." It took some time and neck-craning to read all the history behind each outfit but was well worth it. The short version of the story (pun intended) is that skirts used to be perfectly acceptable wear for men (and still are in many places) but today are still stuck in a feminine-stigma limbo. Me, I want a UtiliKilt soon.
Later that day down in Soho we caught another exhibit, this one having just opened at the New Museum. It's a collection of John Waters' artwork and early films. Being a huge John Waters fan this was a real treat for me, and much of what I saw had me (and many others) laughing out loud. Most of the pieces were assembled from snapshots John has taken of images on his TV, then ordered or organized in some brilliant, usually funny way. There was also a photographic recreation of his office and a complete list of his library collection. The show will be running through at least April, so be sure to see it if you're out that way.
Also while in NYC, I saw Aaron Peterson, Chad Blankenship, the wonderful bars of the Maritime and Hudson hotels and all sorts of unmentionable activities at another bar known simply (and appropriately) as The Cock.
The show was "Taboo," a Broadway musical set in the 80's London club scene that tells the mostly-true stories of several prominent figures from that time and place, including Leigh Bowery, Phillip Sallon and Boy George.
Originally the plan was to see the final performance on Sunday night, but we ended up getting amazing seats minutes before the Saturday night show. The US version of the show received mostly bad reviews (the UK version ran for two years) but I found it quite entertaining. There were some good songs, nice performances, it told some very interesting stories and had the most amazing costumes. Really glad I made the effort to see it before it closed.
Criticisms would include a second act that started out feeling clichéd (but got a lot better) and a few weak spots talent-wise, though one of the actors I thought was awful in the first act turned it around after the intermission. The guy who played Boy George was by far the best, while Boy George himself (playing Leigh Bowery) was a bit flat in areas.
The next day we caught another show on its closing weekend, this one an exhibit at the Met entitled Bravehearts: Men in Skirts. It included authentic historical examples and modern re-interpretations from all sorts of big-name designers. There were quite a few outfits that were actually worn, designed and/or donated by several of the characters from "Taboo." It took some time and neck-craning to read all the history behind each outfit but was well worth it. The short version of the story (pun intended) is that skirts used to be perfectly acceptable wear for men (and still are in many places) but today are still stuck in a feminine-stigma limbo. Me, I want a UtiliKilt soon.
Later that day down in Soho we caught another exhibit, this one having just opened at the New Museum. It's a collection of John Waters' artwork and early films. Being a huge John Waters fan this was a real treat for me, and much of what I saw had me (and many others) laughing out loud. Most of the pieces were assembled from snapshots John has taken of images on his TV, then ordered or organized in some brilliant, usually funny way. There was also a photographic recreation of his office and a complete list of his library collection. The show will be running through at least April, so be sure to see it if you're out that way.
Also while in NYC, I saw Aaron Peterson, Chad Blankenship, the wonderful bars of the Maritime and Hudson hotels and all sorts of unmentionable activities at another bar known simply (and appropriately) as The Cock.
