Bacon Bits

I must be getting old. I bowed out of my plan to play Santa all day Saturday (link to Santarchy), then catch a plane to Seattle and party all night. It was partly due to the long recovery period I endured after the Playboy TV holiday party at the Playboy Mansion on Thursday night. I have some funny pix of me in "the grotto" and some of the swinging 70s style "playrooms." Don't worry, I am fully clothed in the pictures. It was actually a really fun party, though the tragic parade of old-timer Playmates was a little frightening. I commented to my client that a lot of them looked like the wives from "The Sopranos," and 10 minutes later what celeb should we spot but Steven Van Zandt, who appeared to be wearing a carpet, split to his navel, along with his trademark headwrap. Hugh himself was also there and I got to say hello.

Hope that Hef doesn't mind that I borrowed a big bottle of aspirin from his medicine cabinet in the gameroom. I was taking some over to a girl who was so out her mind wasted that I thought she should start treating her for-sure hangover right away. Forgot the bottle was in my pocket and it ended up at home with me. I popped a couple of the pills the next day, for my mansion-sized hangover, then added the rest (with an identifying note of origin) into the Painkiller Party Pak that I put together, including some vicodin, percocet, lemon-lime alka seltzer and a muscle relaxant. It was my contribution for the notorious "crap with wrap" gift exchange at Mike & Diana's infamous annual Christmas party up in Seattle on Saturday night, which I flew up for to make a surprise appearance at.

Other notable presents that emerged from under the tree included: a fully-cooked, beautifully presented meat mold, shaped like a little boy, made entirely of dog food, eventually flung out the back door; a twice-worn Halloween costume that had been 'seal-a-meal'-ed to preserve its smoky, sweaty, booze-soaked aroma; a furry purple sombrero fringed with multi-colored hanging doodads; and not one but two vintage vibrators. What else do you expect from a party where everyone starts dancing the moment someone finally plays "Merry Go Round" by Eve Plumb, also known as 'Jan's Breakout Hit' from The Best of the Brady Bunch cd.

In the grand tradition of my 'open your mouth as wide as you can' portraits (and also the meat football that started it all), I got a lot of nice shots of party people posing together with a box of Good Friends cereal. Also to be put up on the web, somewhere, somehow, sumday.

Kinda wishing I had kept that bottle of aspirin, just for the way my head feels.